Crouch Grass by Simon Collinson

Crouch grass

No one likes us.

We don’t care .

We’re the crouch grass army

And we’ll grow anywhere!

You haven’t got a hope

In hell of stopping us

We grow rapidly on any type of soil

Good , bad and ugly 

We’ve seen them all.

Burn us! Hoe us!

Dig us out with your teeth!

We’ll be back stronger

 Sometime next week.

As soon as your backs turned

Then you’ll learn

We’re indestructible

 and always ready for a fight

Are you?

We’ll have you wishing

You’d taken up fishing

You  think you’ve got us beat?

Think again, sunshine,

You missed a bit

From which

We grow back

Stronger than

The Hydra

Ever did.

And you’re no Hercules.

Give up , give up

The fight

Life’s too short

Don’t be stupid

To carry on

This senseless fight

You know deep down

It’s a war you can’t win.

All that you’ll end up with 

are knackered knees

And a broken back.

So come on , come on

Wave that white flag

Let us rampage

Unchecked all over

The plot.

Let us strangle the peas , 

Onions and whatever

Else you;ve got.

But if your thinking 

Of taking us on.

Don’t even try,

Don’t bother.

We will bury you!

Simon is a writer from England who when not struggling to eradicate weeds like reading and going on long walks.

Scroll to Top